I moved out of my parents’ home when I was 25 into The Ex’s home that was technically owned by his mother. From what I understood, she lived upstairs and he lived downstairs. He had owned the house at one time before tragic circumstances occurred. His mom bought the house from The Ex afterwards and then spent the proceeds of the sale on material things and trips. That should have been a huge red flag but hindsight is 20/20. Everyone has a story and this is mine.
When things went to shit after his mental breakdown, I found myself packing my stuff into my tiny hatchback and driving 1.5 hours home; home to my parents where I was always welcome with loving arms. Although I knew my parents disapproved of my relationship, they let me live my life. When things went to shit, they were there to pick up the pieces. They were my parents after all. It’s not like I was expecting them to fix me but it was an unspoken pact that we had.
The thing with Asian families is that we don’t show our emotions. I don’t hug my parents regularly (only on their birthdays) and we never say I love you. All of this is implied, just like the fact that I was welcomed back after leaving The Ex. There was no judgment; only love.
The Ex was jealous of this fact. He told me he had told his friends that I had run home to mommy and daddy. Yes, I did. So what? I was a grown ass woman who had been emotionally abused and manipulated. I was raised in a loving home. What else were my parents and I supposed to do? He threw it in my face so many times but I had failed to remember that his own mother had bailed him out of the mortgage he’d be saddled with after his wife was murdered. He refused to hold a full-time job since the tragedy so it’s a good thing his mother saved his house. Why was he taking out his frustrations on me?
I lived in my old room, sleeping on a foam mattress on the floor for about four months before I moved back into my condo that I owned. My tenants had moved out. I lived in my condo for about 3 months before a devastating fire forced me to move back into my parents’ home… again. And there was The Ex yammering away about me running home to mommy and daddy. Let me put it in perspective for you. I live two minutes by car from my parents. I had my dog and my purse when I walked out of the fire. Where else was I supposed to go if not my parents’? I walked to my parents’ home and I’m grateful for that. I put all the insurance cheques from the fire towards my debt. It helped put a dent in my debt.
Do I regret moving back to my parents’ home? No, I don’t. My parents don’t either. They loved having me home just like the old times. I even snuck home a couple times after some late nights out. Haha! I feel no shame in doing moving home and I’m so grateful that my parents welcomed me back.
There’s a negative stigma surrounding boomerang kids. Yes, some of them do take advantage of their parents but many of them, myself included, just wanted to get back on their feet again and our parents were willing to help. If/when I have kids, I plan to do the same for them should they need a helping hand.
Ace interview for health care program I’m interested in. Will tell you more about this if I get into the program. Fingers crossed!
There is one goal that I know I won’t be hitting this month and it’s sticking to my Restaurant budget. There will be a week where restaurants downtown offer 3 course dinners for a decent price so I’ll be checking out a few places.
Yes, I know it’s Valentine’s Day and the timing of this post is cheeky. I just think love doesn’t have to be expensive, ok? Haha!
I do think diamonds are sparkly and beautiful for the record. It’s just not for me though. I can’t envision myself with a big, pricey, sparkly rock which is ironic because I feel like my big, sparkly rock is pricey. I am clumsy. I use my hands a lot. I lift weights. Plus, I wouldn’t feel safe wearing something that might catch the eye of someone who might want to take it off my finger. I also think they are extremely over-valued and I feel like money could be spent better elsewhere.
I had looked at rings before my fiance proposed mainly because he told me to. He wanted me to give him ideas of what I liked. Hell, I didn’t even know what I liked! I looked at man-made diamonds, alternative precious gemstones and diamond look-alikes.
The first one I sent him was a $90 ring with a diamond look-alike. I thought he’d pick that one for sure. He hit the jackpot wanting to marry a woman who was fine with a $90 ring! Haha! He ended up selecting the most expensive ring that I sent him (US$975). It had an oval tourmalinated quartz stone with a diamond pave band as seen below. I did some reading up on tourmaline quartz and found out it is a crystal with healing properties. It grounds you and shields you from negative energy. I thought that was pretty neat.
I got my wedding band off Etsy as seen below but in white gold. It was only $50 and I felt it would fit with the engagement ring since it has a notch where the stone would fit into.
I also got a silicone ring that I can wear at the gym. I got one for my fiancé as well. I ordered it off Amazon for $20. I’ve been wearing it for 6 months now. So far, it’s held up well through lifting weights and rowing.
I wish society didn’t have the expectation of diamond rings for engagements. There’s so much pressure on one party to save up money for something so expensive. Mother Nature has so much to offer that it’d be a shame if we focused solely on diamonds.
My cell phone contract expired last January. I decided I didn’t want to pay for a over $80/month for a contract anymore so I shopped around. I was with Rogers when my contract expired and found a Pay As You Go plan that had everything I wanted. It had unlimited evening and weekend calling, 100 minutes of daytime calling and unlimited texting. This was all for $120/year. It has since changed to $180/year with 50 minutes of daytime calling but it’s still cheaper than having a monthly contract. I hardly called anyone so call time wasn’t a big deal to me. I normally just text them to arrange a time when I can meet up in person with them. The only drawback was that there was no data on this annual Pay As You Go plan.
How would I ever survive? I figured I have WiFi at home and work. If I’m out and about, I can always connect to free WiFi via open networks or by heading to McDonald’s, Tim Hortons or Starbucks. I’m happy to say I survived the year! It was much easier than anticipated. If I had to drive somewhere unfamiliar, I would Google Map the directions at home and take a screenshot of the map.
One con was the inability to receive pictures over text messaging. I’d see my phone trying to download something and tell the sender to re-send it to me via Whatsapp. I also couldn’t participate in group text messages but I didn’t mind that. Someone would eventually tell me what everyone decided on. It saved me from reading tons of messages.
Now that my Pay As You Go plan is expiring, I’ve decided to renew it for the next year. Yes, the price has gone up but I will still save a shit ton of money compared to having a monthly contract. It feels nice knowing I am free from the chains that are cell phone contracts. I cringe when I hear how much people pay for their cell phone plans. It’s particularly bad here in Canada. What works for me may not necessarily work for others but I’m sure glad it does!
I started tracking my net worth and spending in November 2014 using The Budgeting Tool. The woman who runs the site is named Sherry from Save. Spend. Splurge.. Sherry is money goals to me. She was once in a shit ton of debt as well but managed to dig herself out. Now her net worth is over $500K! Sherry also comes from an Asian family so I feel like I can relate to her story. She has also dated a money moron in the past but came to her senses quicker than I did. She also is a foodie and has impeccable style. I feel like she is my spirit animal. Haha!
The Budgeting Tool is USD$50 but she matches that amount and gives it to charity. The tool has helped me tremendously. I input my income and expenses and I’m able to track my progress towards debt freedom. The Excel spreadsheets all link together and are pretty much dummy proof.
In November 2014, my net worth was -$31K (eek!). My net worth at the beginning of 2017 was $55K and currently, it is $74K. I admit I haven’t been super strict with my budgeting this year as you can see in the line graph. The little dips are from adjustments I made to my budget or from splurges (yes, I know I can’t afford to splurge if I’m in debt) but the important thing is it is trending upwards. I will need to exude willpower next year for all my money goals. Happy new year, everyone!
It’s true. I’m a motherlovin’ Scrooge. Ok, I’m not truly a Scrooge but at this age, my friends and I have come to an agreement that we don’t need to buy gifts for one another. Our attitude is “if we want something, we will buy it ourselves”. Instead, we prefer to get together and eat. This arrangement has also applied to my relationships. My fiancé and I aren’t buying gifts for one another. We’re just taking my parents out for lunch then cooking an indulgent meal for dinner. That’s truly what I want most; to spend time with my loved ones. Although my fiancé did bring up a good point: if we do have children then we will have to deal with Christmas. We will cross that bridge when we come to it.
Whatever you celebrate, celebrate it well! Happy holidays! Merry Christmas! Happy Hanukkah! Happy Kwanzaa!