I moved out of my parents’ home when I was 25 into The Ex’s home that was technically owned by his mother. From what I understood, she lived upstairs and he lived downstairs. He had owned the house at one time before tragic circumstances occurred. His mom bought the house from The Ex afterwards and then spent the proceeds of the sale on material things and trips. That should have been a huge red flag but hindsight is 20/20. Everyone has a story and this is mine.
When things went to shit after his mental breakdown, I found myself packing my stuff into my tiny hatchback and driving 1.5 hours home; home to my parents where I was always welcome with loving arms. Although I knew my parents disapproved of my relationship, they let me live my life. When things went to shit, they were there to pick up the pieces. They were my parents after all. It’s not like I was expecting them to fix me but it was an unspoken pact that we had.
The thing with Asian families is that we don’t show our emotions. I don’t hug my parents regularly (only on their birthdays) and we never say I love you. All of this is implied, just like the fact that I was welcomed back after leaving The Ex. There was no judgment; only love.
The Ex was jealous of this fact. He told me he had told his friends that I had run home to mommy and daddy. Yes, I did. So what? I was a grown ass woman who had been emotionally abused and manipulated. I was raised in a loving home. What else were my parents and I supposed to do? He threw it in my face so many times but I had failed to remember that his own mother had bailed him out of the mortgage he’d be saddled with after his wife was murdered. He refused to hold a full-time job since the tragedy so it’s a good thing his mother saved his house. Why was he taking out his frustrations on me?
I lived in my old room, sleeping on a foam mattress on the floor for about four months before I moved back into my condo that I owned. My tenants had moved out. I lived in my condo for about 3 months before a devastating fire forced me to move back into my parents’ home… again. And there was The Ex yammering away about me running home to mommy and daddy. Let me put it in perspective for you. I live two minutes by car from my parents. I had my dog and my purse when I walked out of the fire. Where else was I supposed to go if not my parents’? I walked to my parents’ home and I’m grateful for that. I put all the insurance cheques from the fire towards my debt. It helped put a dent in my debt.
Do I regret moving back to my parents’ home? No, I don’t. My parents don’t either. They loved having me home just like the old times. I even snuck home a couple times after some late nights out. Haha! I feel no shame in doing moving home and I’m so grateful that my parents welcomed me back.
There’s a negative stigma surrounding boomerang kids. Yes, some of them do take advantage of their parents but many of them, myself included, just wanted to get back on their feet again and our parents were willing to help. If/when I have kids, I plan to do the same for them should they need a helping hand.
This was my February goal but I got a 5% pay raise after getting an 8% pay cut last year so… yay.
I have developed a tight knit group of friends over the past 10 years. I met most of them during my time as a bank teller. We were all the same age and things clicked instantly. Despite our background in the finance industry, it wasn’t until recently that we started talking about money.
My friends knew I was in debt because of The Ex. I started off by telling them how happy I was with getting my pension lump sum payout and knocking down a huge portion of my debt. Friend A said she was in debt too mainly because of home renovations but was working hard to pay it off. Then she told me she’s on track for early retirement at 55! I was shocked. I had no idea that she was on an aggressive track to retire early. I told her that was awesome. I was so proud of her because she also had some difficulties with her ex early in life that left her as a young, single mother. I felt so lucky to have her as my friend.
I had another conversation with Friend B. She works a Monday to Friday full-time job in addition to a part-time job after she’s finished her hours at her full-time job. I seriously don’t know how she does it but she’s been doing it for years. I asked her if she needed the part-time job to get by and she said yes. Cue sad face from me. She also said her mortgage is now less than $170K. My eyes shot open and the sad face transformed into one of joy. She had bought a house maybe 7 years ago on her own that she paid about $420K. So she didn’t need the part-time job just to get by. She wanted it so she could pay off her house early.
I met Friend C through Friend A. She recently completed her MBA and is obsessively paying it off. I can relate to her because the debt can consume you especially if you are inherently debt averse. She hates debt and is also on an accelerated mortgage payoff schedule and will have her house paid off in the next 9 years. She told me she’ll have her school debt paid off in 2 years. We talk about money all the time and keep each other in check when one of us has an itching to spend cash on something frivolous or unnecessary.
Why am I telling you about Friends A, B and C? Well, I wouldn’t have known about their financial situations had I not opened up about my own. They are all doing something that I want for myself. I want an early retirement. I want to pay off the house we will eventually buy in X amount of years. I’m lucky I don’t have to look far for financial role models. Start talking to your friends about money!
Yeah, so that ^^ happened. It took 9 weeks for the pension people to process my paper work. I’m getting about $79K deposited in a LIRA at Questrade and I received my cash lump sum payment with 30% taken off for taxes.
I immediately paid $2,235 to my MBNA Mastercard. I paid $815 to the CRA for taxes I owe. I put $15K into my line of credit at 6.7% interest. I still have $14,888 outstanding on another Mastercard but I’m going to wait until March 13 to pay it since the 0% interest promotional period is over on March 17. That’ll save me about $40 in line of credit interest for this month. I also socked away $220 for our elopement fund and set aside cash for this month’s expenses. It’ll feel good to finally use cash/debit.
How do I feel? I feel like I cheated the system and that I didn’t pay my debts through hard work. It’s silly to feel that way because it is my money that I saved but I am taking away from my future retirement money to pay my debts.
How much debt do I still have? I now have over $14K in consumer debt. I never thought I’d get to this point. To put things in perspective, I had over $81.5K of debt at the end of November 2014.
